


Unrequited Love

by TheStarsAndTheBow



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, But there is going to be a happy Ending I promise, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, High School, M/M, Romance, Ryuji is really doubing himself here, Sexual Content, Slow Build, They are going to be happy trust me, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, but Angst is there for a reason my friends, just a little bit tho, long fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:34:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21650512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStarsAndTheBow/pseuds/TheStarsAndTheBow
Summary: Every time Akira laughs and his nose curls, Ryujis heart bounces. Whenever he embraces him as a greeting, it warms his heart. Every time Akira calls him, talk to him about really anything, confides things he wouldn't tell anyone else, all those things makes Ryuji feel very special. It doesn't matter what anybody thinks or says, but having Akira with him, even if he doesn't return these feelings, is enough for Ryuji.Or the one in which Ryuji needs to understand that some thing aren't as what they seem to be.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren & Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	1. Staring (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys. :) I really don't know how long this fic is going to be, but I'm going to work on this for a while. If you read the tags, you'll notice that the story is going to be pretty angsty, but trust me, it'll be worth and the end. This is only a very short prologue, the chapters itself will be way longer.

Ryuji could stare at Akira for hours.

Days.

Month.

Years.

Maybe an entire lifetime.

To be quite honest, it wouldn’t be the most productive life, but who even cares about that? Akira is a beauty that needs to be started at.

Ryuji can’t really remember the exact date of when he fall in love with Akira. He starts to think that it might be love at first sight.

Every time Akira laughs and his nose curls, Ryujis heart bounces. Whenever he embraces him as a greeting, it warms his heart. Every time Akira calls him, talk to him about really anything, confides things he wouldn't tell anyone else, all those things makes Ryuji feel very special. It doesn't matter what anybody thinks or says, but having Akira with him, even if he doesn't return these feelings, is enough for Ryuji.

Ryuji would lie if he said it wouldn't hurt him. He wants to have so much more. He'd like to touch him, kiss him, be close to him like nobody else. But he can't, and he knows that well enough. So, he tries to be focused on the one thing that he can have, and that is Akiras friendship. It’s not like Ryuji is sad or anything. Unrequired love usually isn’t the most appealing thing, but there is nothing he can do about it and dwelling over it, hiding under his blanket and crying himself to sleep, isn’t going to make his situation any better. So, he focuses on the good things. And Usually the good things consist of staring at Akira.

Ryuji tries his best to hide is staring as much as possible. He loves his friends and they are very important to him, but they don’t really need to know about his helpless crush.

The best opportunity for staring is when Akira is talking. He can’t really remember what the topic is about, but he’s sitting with Akira at Leblanc.

Right after school they decided to meet up and just talk a little bit. It has been a while since the phantom thieves disappeared and defeated a god. Akira was supposed to move back to Inaba but Sojiro had a very long discussion with his parents that his life is here in Tokyo, that he goes to a good school, (kind of) that he has friends here and that this environment is better for him. His parents did listen to Sojiro and let him stay.

By further inspection Akiras parents aren’t the best.

„Are you listening to me?" Akira is looking at him, amused.

Shit, he should be more careful. He can fall back to his thoughts later.

„Sorry, I’m just hungry,“ he lies. _I was staring at your lips, but hey sorry._

Akira is looking at him, eyes squinting.

Ryuji doesn’t really like that look in his face. He knows this game. Akira would ask what’s going on, Ryuji had to lie, which he - by the way - hates, Akira wouldn’t believe him, Ryuji would insist that his lie is the truth and then Akira would go. This is happening way to often lately.

Maybe Ryuji isn’t that good at hiding his feelings after all, he should think more before acting.

Ryuji throws an arm around him, bringing their faces closer, by accident of course. “Dude don’t worry ‘bout it. Haven’t been eating in ‘effing years.” Akira wants to open his mouth again, but before any words can leave his mouth, Ryuji is already blabbering again. “I need to go home anyways. Mom needs help. See ya at school?” He tries to give him the warmest smile he can offer.

Akira smiles back, hugging him. “If you say so. I’ll text you!” Ryuji feels his face getting red. Throwing an arm around him was already hard enough, but Akira hugging him? He can feel his beating heart in his chest. If he wouldn’t stop touching Akira, his heart is probably going to burst out of his chest. “…Um…I,” and with that he is crumbling himself way too fast out of the hug. Grabbing his backpack, he is almost out of the café. “Bye,” he shouts before closing the door and getting out of this dangerous situation.

He is runinng down the street, holding his heart. Akira doesn’t know about his feelings, doesn’t and couldn’t know how painful a touch, a hug like that can be. It’s not his fault Ryuji is acting like a little girl.

_Get your grip together, man._

He decides to fumble his earphones out of his back and hearing some music. He likes to listen to some good music, while forgetting the world around him. It almost makes him feel like he’s the only one on the street. He always had a very good imagination, and this certainly makes his walk home a little bit funnier.

He is still able to feel the touch of Akira on his body. The warmth it gave him.

As he puts his hands into his pockets, he can still feel them shake. His entire body is shaking. It’s nothing new to him.

Not just the shaking, though, but the general feeling of love. He wishes that he could talk to someone about it. Talk to a person about these feelings. But he couldn't. They would laugh at him. Falling in love with Akira, this guy is way out of his league. Stupid Ryuji. 

But how could he know that this will only gets worse from here on out.


	2. Should I smile because you're my friend, or cry because tha's all you'll ever be?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuji doesn't love himself, so he understands why Akira doesn't either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard to write. Was listening to that song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS5GfL9F7L4 it's really setting the moode for this fic. :D  
> It's going to get angsty. :) I hopere there aren't so many typos tho, it's pretty late over here. xD

The next days were uneventful for Ryuji. Everything kind of went on autopilot.

He went to school, eats something, plays some read dead redemption 2 on his PlayStation, before he would throw himself on his bed. He is tired, constantly.

Tired, he throws his phone on his bedside table. His room is completely dark, not one single light beam is going through his curtains. He enjoys the peacefulness and the safetieness that he has now. Years ago, when his father had still a big role in his life, he would lie under his blanket, trying to blank out all the screaming and crying. He still can remember the rush of blood, his pulse that would go rapidity up, once he heard heavy food steps near his room. That was usually the time when his father would release some steam.

He would try his best so help his mom, but he could never rescue her.

He just isn’t a hero. 

He just isn’t good enough.

Suddenly he sees a dim light from his phone.

_A new message?_

He grabs his Phone. The light is way too bright for his eyes, so the phone almost slips out of his hands, but he somehow manages to grab it. 

**Akira 10 pm.: “Can I come over?”**

_Yes._

_Yes, come over._

_Yes, speak to me._

_Yes, be near to me._

**Ryuji 10.02 pm.: “It’s pretty late and I’m tired.”**

Self-destruction? The easiest task for him. It doesn’t take long for Akira to answer.

**Akira 10.05 pm: “I don’t care. You haven’t talk to me in days.”**

**Akira 10.06 pm: “And you don’t need to answer, I’m already in front your house. Look out of the Window. :D”**

_What?_

Ryuji tries to get up way to fast, which leads to him kissing the floor. He pushed himself back up, sprinting to the next window and there he is.

Waiting casually in front of his door. This could be straight of a chick-flick movie.

He’s walking down the stairs, hands in his pocket, looking down. He could hardly slam the door shut right before Akiras eyes. Now he must deal with this situation. He doesn’t exactly now why it’s been getting harder being around Akira, but it is not helping.

He shyly opens the door, giving Akira a half warm smile.

“You stupid?” he asks.

“I thought it was a good idea. Look, I’ve got a toothbrush, my pajama, and no Morgana. Let’s have a sleepover,” he says, looking innocent.

How can he be so beautiful?

There should be a law against this.

“Um….sure, c’mere,” he says, opening the door just as much as possible for Akira to enter.

“I hope your mom wont get angry at me for staying.”

“No,” Ryuji says, shaking his head. “She’s already asleep, said somethi’ ‘bout having to work early,” he mumbles. Still looking at the ground.

Akira doesn’t answer to that, instead he is taking his heels up the stairs, supposedly heading to Ryujis room.

Ryuji just stays there for a while at the doorframe. This is his best friend, the person who put his life on the line for him. He probably just wants to have some quality time with Ryuji or is worrying about him.

Ryuji might not be worth it, but he doesn’t want to interfere in his best friends’ life.

He decides not to think too much about it and just to have a good time.

“Thought you never come up here”

Akira is lying on Ryujis bed, Phone is his hand.

“So, you wanna game?” Ryuji asks casually. Why is it so weird? The atmosphere is kind of awkward, he doesn’t want that.

“Actually,” Akira starts, looking deeply into the eyes of the other. “You’re acting rather weird lately,”

“I’m not,” Ryuji says without even looking up.

“you do!”

“no”

“you do!!”

“no”

“you do!!”

“Can we, like, stop that?”, he says, walking to the bed and sitting right behind Akira. Akira doesn’t seem to mind, shifting a little bit to the right, so that Ryuji has more place to sit. Akira is looking at him, puzzled.

“It’s just..I..I have a lot on my mind you know?” It is not like Ryuji expect any answer from that. He just doesn’t want to annoy or bother Akira any further. He doesn’t know how this conversation is going to turn out, but he’s just going with it.

Akira puts a hand on his leg. “Why don’t you talk with me about it?”

This isn’t good. As soon as Akira puts his hand on Ryuji legs, everything went downhill. He feels his head getting warm, probably being flustered. He doesn’t want that the incident at Leblanc is going to happen again, so he tries to keep it cool.

“There is a person that I like”

_What?_

How does that come out of his mouth?

Ryuji isn’t entirely sure, but he needs to lie now, he needs to put up a good lie. Or maybe he can just chance the truth a little bit, that could work.

“oh,” Akira says, tightening his grip.

Ryuji turns his head, trying to read his friend. He looks completely uninterested. Akira is smiling at him warmly, possible to encourage him to go on further.

Akiras hand on his leg, him smiling at Ryuji, everything is blurry.

“She doesn’t know though, and she porbs doesn’t like me back, ‘s pretty obvious that she doesn’t,” Ryuji says. “And I’m not going to tell her, ya know? Don’t wanna ruin a friendship and ’s not going to change anything..and….and..i’m sorry I’m blabbering.” Ryuji finally catches his breath, not daring looking at his best friend. It’s not like it was a complete lie, most of it was true, expect that Akira is the girl in his story.

“I’ll just try to get over is, ‘is all.”

After a few seconds Ryuji is finally putting his head up, turning to Akira, who is staring at him. It’s hard reading Akira, always had been. He is not a person who shows his emotion. Sometimes though Ryuji know exactly what is going on in his mind. This however wasn’t such a moment.

Ryuji expect everything, really everything. Maybe Akira would burst out hundreds of questions, or he would laugh at him, thinking he is making a fuss over such a stupid thing, or he would just go because he can’t be bothered with that.

Ryuji thought everything through, what he does not expect is Akira to just stare at him.

He’s just looking at him, not breaking the eye contact.

“And why didn’t you say so earlier?” Akira asks. His voice is dull, dark, almost whispering.

Ryuji is shifting a little bit, not feeling comfortable. “I..I just..it’s just that I,” he stutters.

_Okay, don’t lose it man, just talk._

_Talk._

_Talk._

“Who is she?” Akira asks calmly and smiling. His hand is still touching Ryujis thighs. This doesn’t make anything easier. His brain cells aren’t working now. How is he getting out of this, how did it even come to this?

“I don’t think you know her.” He must be red as a tomato right now. He feels so uncomfortable. He breaks his eye contact with Akira, looking as his hands. They are shaking.

It’s silent for a while, the only thing hearable is the heavy breathing from Ryuji and the calm and collected breathing from Akira. Without hesitation Akira grabs Ryujis hand, playing with his little finger, drawing circles. “What she’s like?”

_Is this really happening?_

Ryuji gasps as the sudden touch from Akira. Is he seriously just playing with his hands? They are shaking, warm and sweaty and Akira touching him, doesn’t make them any less sweaty.

“She’s like everything,” he says, still not looking up.

“Like everything?”

Ryuji heads lift, looking at the wall.

“Yeah. She’s very nice, always there for me. She’s the kinda girl that would do anything for a person in need and would never ask for anything in ‘effin return,” Ryuji starts rambling, but he needs to get that out of his chest. “Everybody loves her, I don’t know one person that hates her. She’s helpful, popular, sweet and funny. When she’s smiling it feels like everything’s gonna be okay? She has that kind of smile, that you just can’t forget, ya know? She probably wouldn’t even hate me if I would confess. She would shrug it off, I guess or hope. She’s not judgy. If you ask me, she’s the most beautiful person in this ‘effin world. And I’m not just talking about her look, even tho she has that messy dark hair and these cute glasses. But she has a big personality as well. She is just amazing.”

Ryuji doesn’t realize that he was blabbering and basically just told his crush how beautiful he is. It is hurtful. Ryuji meant every word, every sylph. It’s hard having your most wanted desire right there but you aren’t able to touch them. Everybody is constantly talking about true love and falling in love. But what about those people that fall in love alone? Ryuji wanted him like the sun wants to shine. Wanted him like the rain wants to fall. Wanted him like a book wants to be read.

But Ryuji doesn’t love himself, so he understands why Akira doesn’t either.

That still doesn’t make it easier.

Akira is squeezing his hand, which makes Ryuji looking up to him. He looks so…. _confused?_ Akira is not blinking, not moving. Just squeezing his hand and gazing at him. The air is electric.

“Trust me,” he starts, smiling warmly at Ryuji. “If she’ll hear that, she has no other choice but to love you.”

Ryuji can’t hold it any longer. He starts to cry, leaning on his best friends, who comforts him in silence. Why is this world so cruel? Being comforted by the person that you want most but can’t have.


End file.
